if pain could sing, id be a fucking orchestra

my dream of a fairy tale love story spat in my face like a popping rainbow bubble.
i feel so fucking lost and raped. apparently he *just didnt feel it* what ever thats supposed to mean.
i wanted to tough him so bad, it was killing me. i couldnt stand the distance and his coldness anymore. i had to leave. and he wanted me to leave too because he felt uncomfortable. it wasnt possible to just be nice and normal, like friends or anything. i felt like a stupid dog walking after him, not understanding a word he said because he and his friends only talked extreme accent. if i listen hard i can understand, but it felt like a waste of energy trying to grasp their conversations. well anyways. things are pretty much over now and im fighting this fucking physical pain once again.
i will be coming home earlier. i hate europe right now.
so, ashley, jen, we just have to hang out forever!!!!